Through?

For those of you who know me, or have read my blog in the past, you know that Blayne and Emileigh were both welcomed surprises in our family.  Blayne, because we thought biological children weren't something we would have.  Emileigh, because...well, we weren't paying attention ; )

Both of our kiddos are amazing.  You would have to tear them out of my cold dead arms to get them away from me, and then, I would haunt you and 10 of your following generations.

That being said.  I am finished having children.  DONE.

I want my children to be able to live a good life.  Full of vacations, weekend get-a-ways, extra curricular activities, college.  (I'm not looking forward to paying for a wedding, so we've already begun to explain how much fun it is to get married in Las Vegas to Em.)

I can't give three kids that kind of life.  Just can't do it.  This phrase would be standard: "I'm sorry, TaylorTot, we can't afford that because your brother and sister are doing, XYZ."  How much would that suck.  Oh, and before you comment, let me say this:  My kids aren't going to get to do everything they want to do, nor will they get everything they think they need.  I get that. I am good with that.  My point, I don't want to beat in their brains that they couldn't do something because there were too many of them.


Today, I took a pregnancy test.  I'm late... way late. So late, I can't remember my last, you know.  So late that when I asked K to run to Walgreens for me, he didn't hesitate, much.

We both talked about what we would do if the test came back positive.  Both being very careful with our word choices, because, if it was positive, we didn't want the wrong reaction to hang over our heads, or be guilty of not wanting the baby.  Funny thing is, neither of us want another baby.

Kevin got back and I ran over the dog to get to the bathroom.  I didn't get up while waiting for the test to read... I watched the lines darken as the seconds slowly crept along.  Finally, I was satifified with the results.

Negative.

NEGATIVE!  Thank goodness.

I squeeled, then realized that I had better explain that it was a good squeel.
Kevin and I both breathed a sigh of relief, then he stated that a vasectomy was in order. lol

I am going to bed tonight, very, very thankful for the two children we are blessed with.  They are perfect and wonderful in so many ways.  I'm sure, if we were pregnant, the third baby would be just as perfect and wonderful.  If we were to become so lucky to win the lottery, maybe we'll have a third or fourth.  But for now, I am content with being a family of four.


Jen


- I'm sure this isn't really the kind of thing most people blog about, however, I'm still on this journey of 30 days of writing.  Keeping it real is my motto, and this was the most REAL thing that happened today. :)

***** Day 2 of 30 in Thirty days of writing*****