Sweet Slumber

Today is the first day that I have had both Blayne and Emileigh, alone, since August 28th.  You know, that awful day that I woke up with a broken back.

It feels so wonderful!

The little things are what I missed the most.  Snuggling on the couch while watching Sesame Street, putting a load of laundry in and hearing the sound of the dishwasher running.  I began the organization project of a lifetime, TOYS, today...Who knows when that will be completed.

Now, I sit in the recliner in my bedroom next to my bed where Blayne thinks he must sleep, and I am watching my little man drift off to sleep.  He has always been a very good sleeper, you tell him to go to sleep and he does.

I am enjoying the sweet sounds he is making as his breathing turns heavier and slower.

I have missed this.  Since August, I have taken every opportunity to join in at nap time, usually asleep before he.

Now, I sit here and take it all in.

Yes, I am healing.

Finally.

Cherish Everyday

What's a girl to do when you can't sleep?  Well you facebook!  Then, you pin on pinterest, then when you gather inspiration from that, you work on your project life album!  While working on this page, I remembered why I was on a scrapbooking hiatus for such long time.  It took me over 90 minutes to finish this ONE page.

Granted I had to search for the right font, the right brush, and I re-colored everything... I'm pleased with how this turned out.  The pictures are from my iPhone.  They aren't the best shots in the world, however, I will remember this moment for the rest of my life.  I will remember it, because I have it recorded in a special and memorial way.  When Emileigh has her book, and shows it to her children someday, they will understand and feel the love their grandfather has for his daughter, their mother.  

They say pictures speak a thousand words, I believe it.

That better place...

If you read my last post, and thought I fell off the rocker, you were close to being correct.  I was in a dark, dark, place.  I am NOT a good person to wait for anything.  To prove this statement, I will confess:  When reading a book, I will likely read the first two chapters, then skip and read the last two.  I will then go back to chapter three and finish the book.  I read magazines from the back forward.  I just like to know how things end.

That being said... I went to see Dr. P yesterday.  He reviewed the CT scan and explained that, at this time, there is no reason to further proceed with surgery.

Today, I went to Tulsa and had a nerve block injection.  While I am still in a lot of pain, I can bear with this.  AND the effects aren't supposed to kick in for another 36 hours, yay!

I've been without my kids since Monday, and I am having major withdrawls, but hopefully- I'm on the mend.  I appreciate all of the kind thoughts, text messages, emails, and phone calls.  I am truly a blessed lady :)

So, since the kiddos are out, I believe I will take all this built up frustration and focus it on PROJECT LIFE!


Jen :)

That Crazy Place...

I swear to God.  I'm in such a crazy place right now.   Since August, I have had two back surgeries, two spinal injections, and here I am... sitting at my grandmother's house in such great pain.  Mentally, I am exhausted.  I am in such a strange place.  I understand why people who live in constant pain take a handful of pills and drift of to eternal sleep.  Please don't read that as something I would do.... I just understand their thought process.

I never ever wanted to me a mom.  I wanted to be a professional softball player... I wanted to play softball in the Olympics.  Kids weren't even in the picture.

When I had shoulder surgery my Junior year of High School, I worked my ass off to get back into shape and back in the game.  It payed off and I played some good ball with some great gals in Purcell.  I loved being a Dragon :)  Then we moved.

I ended up back in Bristow my senior year, but the damage was already done.  The girls I started playing softball with when I was five played on the team, so I thought I would join them.  Unfortunately, the Vice Principal told me that he wouldn't sign the hardship papers (needed so the OSSAA would allow me to be eligable due to my transfer) unless I also agreed to play Basketball.  I did not and do not love basketball.  However, I agreed and went out for Softball.  I didn't get much playing time.  I was angry and frustrated.  I was a SENIOR, why was I sitting the bench?!

Softball ended, Basketball started.  Turns out, I worked hard and a week before the first game, Coach Glover pulled me aside and told me that although I wouldn't be a starter, I would see significant playing time.  I was beyond excited.  Then, with two minutes left in the last practice before our first game, we were doing layup drills, and I rolled my right ankle.  I tore my achilles tendon.  I was out forever.

This is important, because at that moment, I went into such a deep dark place.  Lost were the dreams of an Olympic gold medal.  Gone were dreams of college.  Gone were dreams of becoming someone special.

I started dating J.  We both had enough emotional family baggage to fill the state of Texas.  Somehow we thought at 18, it would be a good idea to get married.  Looking back, we both knew it was a mistake.  But, I had nothing else going for me, so we did.

Still as a married woman, I still did not want kids.  No way, not for me.  I would be a terrible mother and that wasn't an option.

We seperated 11 months after we said, "I do."  

I went back into that dark place.  This time, I really felt damaged.  Who would want a divorcee at 20?
I decided that I would just figure out how to work hard, get a job, save some money, and travel.
That was okay... I didn't want kids.  I could fly by the seat of my pants.

Then I met Kevin.

Two weeks after I met him, I wanted to give him children.  I wanted to be his children's mother.  I wanted HIS babies.  I wanted my children to be his.

Five years later, I got my wish.  Blayne was born and 18 months later, Emileigh completed our family.

We have had so much happen in the 3.5 years since Blayne arrived, but they are all filled with laughter, love, and peace.  I love those three people that make my family mine.  I loved the chance to stay at home with Blayne and EmJ.  I loved being able to step over toys that were scattered throughout the house.  I loved it all.


For never wanting to be a mom, it's the greatest thing that has EVER happened to me.


Then I hurt my back (or whatever the hell happened) and I find myself back into that dark place.  What happens if I never get better?!!  I have had two surgeries... I am almost worse now than I was before surgery #1.  I know I am not better.

What if my children will never remember mom walking normally?  Kids are jerks and I don't want them to tease Blayne and Emileigh because their mom is broken.  I want to take them to Disney World.  I want to be able to walk with them and enjoy every moment.  I don't want to ride a stupid motorized cart!!!

I want to teach Emileigh how to play softball...  I want to play with her.  I can't tell you how much this means to me.

What if I can't?  What if I won't be able to be the mom my kids deserve?
Why would God allow me to be a mom, if I can't be a good one?

I'm in a bad place today.  I need to climb out, I will.  I always have.  I'm just sick of climbing.

I'm thankful for my husband, Kevin.  I'm thankful for Blayne Wesley and Emileigh Joann.
I'm thankful for my grandparents, Joann and Wesley Shelton.

Without those people..... I might have just swallowed those pills.  Because of them, I never will.

Loving this!

I can't help it.  Project Life is so easy... I LOVE IT.  I bought two additional kits yesterday... I thought I would use them to do projects that are sitting in my computer files from the past.

Below: Project 1 -  Emileigh's second birthday.  It turned out so cute!

Project Life 2012 - Version TeamTaylor

A few posts back, I wrote about finding Pinterest and that find caused my creative juices to begin flowing.  Then, I woke up with a broken back.

Back into storage went the supplies.  Back into the creative rut I went.

Then, it happened... One of my friends on Facebook, Lyndsay, posted about Project Life.  She said the following words: "So far, I've got 4 people on board for #ProjectLife with me."

From somewhere deep inside, that feeling came back.  I used to play around with digital scrap-booking.  I can do it from the computer.  All I will need is a power supply, my external hard-drive, and some kits.

She blogged about Project Life and sent me to this site.

I spent $30.00 and will have enough supplies to last me F.O.R.E.V.E.R.  You see, when you digi-scrap, you have the files to use over and over.  When you scrapbook with traditional supplies, you purchase the paper, you glue it, it's gone.

I admit, I am a bit rusty.  I hope it won't take long for me to re-discover my style :)  Again, lucky for me, I can always change my layout... nothing is permanently glued :)

So, if you are interested in joining you can get the digi - kit here.
There is also a Facebook group. Ask to join, here.


Want to know more about Project Life?  Watch this Video by Becky Higgins, she created the craze!

Microdiscetomy - Spine Surgery

You know those day's in your life that you know you will never, ever forget?  Those crazy out of nowhere days that you can remember every single detail, no matter what else was going on in your life at the time?

August 27th is one of those days for me.  It was 2.5 weeks before my baby girl turned two.  My grandparents came to town to purchase her birthday gift, a full size bed, side tables, and bedding for my not so baby anymore, baby. 

The beautiful white furniture looked so nice in her room, I immediately decided that she needed the perfect bedding to accompany it.  

Off to the Mall we went, grandma, Emileigh, and myself.  It was August, in Oklahoma heat.  I think the temperature was 112 that day... give or take.  We ended up finding the most perfect pink and black colored set featuring mini-mouse.  Not at all cartoon-ey so pretty.

I carried my sleeping baby through the mall, not knowing it would be the last time I would be able to do so.

That night, we tried tucking her into her big girl bed.  I'm not sure if it was the change, or a sixth sense, but she was not having it.  She went to sleep downstairs, in our bedroom in her pack n play.  At three am, she stirred, I got out of bed to shush her back to sleep and down I went.  At 7am, Kevin's alarm went off.  I tried to get out of bed and couldn't move.

Serioiusly.  I couldn't move.  If there had been a fire in my house, I would have burned.  

I was scared, upset, and angry.

We called my grandma, who stayed with the kids and off to the urgent care we went.

After x-rays and a shot of something I hope to never have again, the doctor explained that I would get over the pain in my back with a bit of rest and tlc.  Actually, I remember he telling me that 80% of the symptoms clear on their own.  

The next day, I went to my primary care doctor.  He agreed, but as a precaution, set up an MRI.  

Two weeks later, I was sitting in front of a spine Surgeon who assured me that I had a bulge, however he thought steriod injections would help.

They didn't  

Two weeks later, I was having back surgery.  A microdiscectomy of the L5 - S1 vertebrae.  

I wish the story ended there, however, after surgery and  another round of steriod injections, I had a revision of the surgery last Monday.  

The past four months have been terrible.  I haven't been able to pick up my babies.  I haven't been able to travel, I haven't been much help to anyone.  I have spent an obscene amount of time on Pinterest.  

With any luck, this surgery will work.

T-shirt Scarf

I have been wanting to make a unique scarf for sometime, and tonight, I finally found the time and energy to get after the project.  The tots went over to my dad's so I had a few hours to be crafty.  This is what I made:

I first spotted a similar one from a blogger at, kevinandamanda.com  I thought it couldn't be too hard, so tonight, I dug out a few shirts and went to work.

I'm not even kidding, this is so easy.  Really.  You can do it in an hour watching your favorite show on TV.  It's super simple, and all your friends are going to beg for one.  

I think, perhaps, my friends might find one in their Christmas gifts from me this year.... maybe.

To make this beauty  you need to dig out some old (or new, but okay to cut up) t-shirts.  I used four, a crimson, white, gray, and black.  If you know me, you know I'm supporting my Sooners with this one :)

Find some sharp scissors, and you are ready to go.

The first step  is to cut the hem off the bottom of the shirt and set it aside.  Later you will cut them into six inch strips and use them to attach your rings together.

Secondly, cut eight strips from the t-shirt.  When cut, it will look something like this:

Not only is this project super simple, you don't have to worry about cutting in super straight lines or worry about jagged edges.

Once all of the strips have been cut out, the fun begins.

Take a piece of fabric and pull on it.  Stretch it out as far as it will stretch.  Magically, your fabric will go from flat and jagged to long and turned in.  Awesome, right?

totally bad picture- sorry!

Stretch all strips then wind them around your fingers to make rings.  Set them aside:

Once you have them all stretched, begin to assemble.  Put two rings together and tie with a piece of the bottom cuff.  I used four shirts, so I ended up with 32 rings.  Use as many as you like.  That's the fun!

I can't wait to see if you make one.  If you do, leave me a comment, or link.  I am super happy I stumbled upon the tutorial myself.  Good Luck and...well.... boomer sooner :)  

Minnie Mouse Party

I have had TONS of emails asking how I made Emileigh's Minnie Mouse topiary that we used as the centerpiece for her second birthday party.  

I wish I could take total credit for the idea, unfortunately my creative juices are a bit low.  Thanks to Pinterest my juices are beginning to flow again.   I began my search  about a month before the big day. I could have spent a year getting ready for this party, however I had days... so I improvised.

Here are a couple of the projects I completed for the big day:

Minnie Mouse Topiary

Pillow case dress :) 

Cupcakes

The Topiary was the most time consuming project, but it turned out GREAT!  

It was super easy- you will need the following:

* Foam Topiary base found in most craft stores, I got mine from Hobby Lobby

* Foam floral balls, also from Hobby Lobby.  

* You will buy two sizes, bigger ones for the bottom and smaller for the top

These will be Minnie's ears :)

* Go out in the garden shed and grab a plastic pot, you're going to paint it, so it won't matter the condition.  

* Pull out your paint and paint brushes.  The fun is getting ready to begin :)

Miscellaneous:

*you will need tooth picks to apply the ears

*Ribbon of your choice for Minnie's bow

*Floral pins

*Ribbon for the outside of the pot (if necessary)

*Flowers of your choice to place at the bottom of the topiary

*hot glue gun and glue sticks

I also used these:

*They are dimensional stickers I found in the scrapbook section at hobby lobby.  I used them on the invites, the topiary, and anywhere else I could find that could use some "bling" :)

Directions:

1. Clean, dry, and paint the plastic flower pot and set aside to dry.
2. Paint the foam balls on the topiary tree.  I chose not to paint the wood rod, but might in the future.  It turned out okay with leaving it wood.
3. Paint the foam balls used for Minnie's ears.  Once you have an ear painted, stick a tooth pick in the ball and then stick it onto the topiary base.  Remember, use the bigger size on the bottom and the smaller size ears for the top.  
4. Cut your ribbon and place bows on the ears.   I hot glued mine 
1. I took advantage and "blinged" mine up a bit with the scrapbook stickers :)
5.  Wrap the pot with whatever ribbon you choose, I used zebra with a pink polka dot accent.  
6. You will need to weight the pot- I used coins, it was the closest and easiest thing I could find at the time.  Rocks would work too.  Even sand if your pot doesn't have holes.  Coins worked for me - bonus birthday gift, right?
7. Place the topiary in the pot.
8. Cut and place flowers at the base of the topiary.  I used floral pins to stick them in the foam, they worked GREAT.
9. Stand back and look at your creation- it is super cute and super easy!

Emileigh's room is decorated in Minnie Mouse theme, so this looks really cute sitting on her dresser.  I am really pleased with how it turned out.

The Dress was made by my grandmother.  I was happy with the way it turned out, however it hung a little strange for my liking.  Next time, we'll try a different style.  It was cute for the theme though.  We used the same ribbon on Minnie's bow on the dress and the topiary.  Keeping it in sync. HA.

The cupcakes were made by the bakery down the street.  Simply frosted with white icing and I added mini-oreos and pink ribbons for decorations.  I couldn't find any candy bows that I thought looked pretty enough for my princess, so I tied two dozen pink ribbon bows thirty minutes before the party.  It worked out.  Everyone knew to pull them off and pitch them, but my good ole grandpa.  He wanted to make a scene... it wouldn't be a party without him :)

Here are a few of my FAV pics from the party.

a typical fall day 2011

My grandparents are the biggest influences in my life.  They were my rock the entire time I was growing up, and still to this day, I immediately feel at home when I enter Slick and pull down the street to their house.

When they are gone (I can't even imagine) I know that I will never feel the same about Slick, or the little white house on Pershing street.  What makes that place feel like home, are the two people who live there.

My grandpa is the kindest person I know.  I'm sure there are a TON of stories that I don't know, but I that's the way I like it :)

When I was a little girl, I used to beg to stay at their house any time I could.  I'll admit, my grandpa always seemed a bit old to me.  The reality is, they weren't.  I can sit and think of my most cherished memories of him, and they always seem to be spent outside.  Grandpa would let me go with him to feed the dogs, then we would race back to the house.  I can remember, as I got older, he would run faster in order to teach me that I couldn't always win.  Looking back, I know how hard it was for him to let me win.  You see, Shelton's do not just let people win at anything.

My grandparents were at every softball game and dance recital that I ever played in that were in a 100 mile radius of their house.  EVERY ONE

When I was a little girl, my grandpa would help me climb up on the gate between lots at their house.  Once I was adjusted just right, he would push me through the openings.  I can remember coming in the house with sore and wind-burned cheeks from playing outside so long.

Can you even imagine how I felt, when I witnessed this:

I just stood there, watching my baby girl swing on the gate with my papa.  The same gate I swung on 30 years earlier.  The same strong hands pushing the gate.

The same smile on his face.

When we walked back to the house, Emileigh wanted to hold our hands....   Needless to say, I'll never ever forget this moment the rest of my life.