How was your weekend? Here in America, we celebrate our Independence on the 4th of July. Growing up, it blew my mind that it was an actual date... I would always ask, "When is the 4th of July this year?" yeah... I'm that kid.
Thankfully, my kids are just 1/2 of me... (the cute half) so they were gifted with a bit more common sense from daddy. Whew!
One of our traditions that we have kept pretty tight to is hanging out at my grandmother's house in Slick. Slick is a tiny little ghost town in Oklahoma where people are proud to be considered redneck and rules are merely suggestions. However, it's where my dad and his three brothers were raised, so it is home.
This weekend, though, was different.
Something was off. Something didn't feel right... It took me until Saturday evening to really put my finger on the feeling... and when I did, It almost made it worse.
Last week SUCKED. Like, 2x4 to the face, sucks. Why? Loyalty, Friendship, Trust. I am very much an introvert. I prefer to not be in big groups, I prefer to not participate in activities, go out... I am very content to sit in my living-room on my couch, binge watching Netflix (currently into House of Cards) and never walking out of my door. People, I avoid WALMART!
I do however get lonely. I have had some REALLY fantastic friends, and I am super blessed in that area. Where I suck? I am a terrible friend. Remember the whole, sit on the couch and not speak to anyone? yeah. That makes me a terrible friend. I might or might not return a text within 12 hours, I might not ever return a phone call, let alone listen to a voice mail... However, it is never my intention to be a bad friend. It just happens.
Something else I'm not? malicious. I will listen to a story, I will give the best advice I can give and that's the end of it. I feel like I am a "right fighter" though... I never want a bully to win. I am loyal to a dang fault.
This week, I was hurt so deeply by a friend. Someone whom I trusted, confided in, and prayed for. Someone who I looked forward to raising our children together, who I felt close to.
Why am I writing it on this silly blog? Because I'm not the only person who has ever been betrayed by a friend. We all have... and I will go so far to bet that we have all been the betrayer at one time, too.
Yeah. That didn't feel well, did it?
I look to the Word for comfort. I started in Psalms and ended with Jesus...because, really, it all ends with Jesus, ya'll. Talk about betrayed. His very best, closest friends were there when he was arrested. Once was a major player in the arrest. His friends denied even knowing them. Tell me how hard that must have felt!
I sometimes wonder how Jesus really knows how I feel. Meaning: my mundane boring life...Jesus was so BIG. HE CREATED ME. HE CREATED EVERYTHING!...He created loyalty...but he definitely felt sabotage and pain. (He didn't create that, don't get me wrong.)
You know what else he did? He taught me that I am to LOVE those people who hurt me. LOVE THEM. That is hard for me... but, it's important. It is my job to show them the love of Jesus. The way I see it, they are going to wonder how I can smile and be nice. Perhaps that will begin a conversation with someone who will be able to share Jesus and they will get it. Maybe they already know Him, and they will see this as a wake up call.
I can forgive. I will forgive. I have forgiven.
The bible doesn't tell me that I will forget. So I'll walk a little tighter, keep people away a little longer, and be a little less open. I will take this week that started so horrible yet ended so well and remember the lesson. I also look to Jesus and say, "thank you." You could have fixed so many things, but you endured so I would feel that much closer to you.
Have you been there? Which side? Do you have any pointers? I'd love to hear from you!
How about 4th of July traditions or pictures? SHOW ME! :)
(did you notice the new watermark? Yeah?!! That is just something I've been working on... Stay tuned!)