Dear Emileigh. The heartbreak letter

Dear Emileigh,


     Sweet, sweet, baby girl.  It finally happened today.  I arrived to pick you up from aftercare and your little eyes were sad.  I asked you if you were naughty, if you were in trouble... your teacher replied that you weren't in trouble and you quickly spoke up.  "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!"  I knew it was bad.

My little innocent 5 year old, old soul, was covering for something bad.  You were holding it together, until we could get away.  Outside was where it all fell apart.

"My best friend has a new best friend, mommy.  I'm so sad."

I'm not going to lie to you.  I wanted to march back into that center and pull that little girl out of the room and spank her!  I wanted to tell her how amazing you are, how sweet your spirit is, and how hard you love.  Instead? I wiped a tear as I was walking around the car and attempted to slow my heart and regain MY composure.

When I got in the car, I tried to explain the day away.  "she was probably having a bad day."  "it's perfectly normal and okay to have lots of friends."  "Monday will be different."

We got home and you asked me to hold you while you cried.


I wish I could fix this heartbreak.  I wish I could fix all of your heartbreaks that will come up in the future.  There will be too many for me to count.  With each, you will learn a lesson.  You will learn more about yourself than the friends who break your heart, either purposely or inadvertently.

I am not going to be able to fix any of these hurts. Sure, I can hug you, I can tell you that you are beautiful, I can promise that the feeling will go away.  I will NOT be able to fix it.

There will be times you are crying that I won't even know.  Oh, baby... please know you can tell me everything.

Tonight, you will lay in my bed, between daddy and me.  We will snuggle the hurt away.  We will tell you you are the best thing that ever happened to us and we are so thankful for you.  We will laugh and we will forget about this day.

I love you.

Mommy