The Squeeze

Growing up, my parents never taught me about money.  They didn't teach me good things, and they didn't teach me bad things.  In fact, we never  talked about money.

My parents argued all of the time.  I really can't remember when they liked each other.  I don't remember ever knowing exactly what they were arguing about, but I suspect now, it had a lot to do with money, or the lack there of.

My grandmother always gave me money when she came over to see us.  I can remember finding money in books that she bought me, money slid in my hand when she would hold it, money slipped in my jacket pockets.  This happened until she realized that I would take that money and put it in my mother's purse.  Mom would always seem so thankful, and for a minute... I felt loved.

My mother would take us to the grocery store on payday and we would peruse the aisles choosing whatever we wished and would throw it in the basket.  every two weeks.  Cookies, chips, snacks, pop, candy, etc.  Never would she have a list, never would she have a menu, never would she have any plan at all.  She would never ever, ever, ever  look at a price.  It was food, we needed it, she would buy it.

My dad would never mention it (in front of me) and as long as he had enough money for gas to get to work and lunches (he always packed) he was happy.  He never gave me money, never bought me things, or rewarded me with money.  It just didn't happen.

Fast forward to today.

I am a financial nightmare.  there, I said it... OUTLOUD!!!

I have no concept of money.  To me, it is just paper that is used to buy things I want and sometimes things I need.  If I run out, we will get more.  I can't take it with me, right?

Yes, I know how stupid that sounds.  I really do.  However, this is all I know and this is all I have ever known.   Remember, I wasn't taught.  That is not to be an excuse, but well... it is what it is.

Kevin and I have really been talking a lot about our finances.  Our feelings about what we each want to be able to do, and how to get there.  For example, Kevin is currently studying for the MCAT, which means medical school is on the horizon.  In order for that to happen, we must get our act together and get something ironed out and in place.  I don't believe that I need to provide each and everything that my kids want or will ask for, but I do believe it is my job to provide most of those things.

All of that to say, I am researching budgeting systems.  How strict, what kind, etc.


To be Continued...