I had a hard time processing this. I can't even begin to imagine what my dear friend is dealing with. I pray for his family daily, although she is much closer to the One I pray to, so I suspect, He already knows what to do.
Do you believe that all of your experiences in life are given to help you with or through a different experience? I do. I do so much that I have started to NOT believe in coincidences. Maybe that view will change someday, but for right now, I am comfortable believing that struggles and joys are to prepare me for a future event in my life. Everything. Not just things that happen personally to me, but even the trials that I am touched by from afar.
This week, I visited with my mom's mother. She as lived in the Phoenix, Az area (Mesa) for the last several years. I was never close to her. My mom would never talk about her, we weren't ever around her much, and when my mom would ever mention her, it wouldn't be good stories. I was afraid of her. And let's face it, if she wasn't good enough for my mom, she wasn't good enough for me.
As I have gotten older, I begin to understand my mother so much better. I understand she had her demons and didn't deal with any of them. She chose to self-medicate. I have also learned to take what she said about her family with a grain of salt. I need to understand my mom, her family, and her past... because, let's face it. It's my family, too.
When my friend suddenly lost her husband, it reminded me just how swift death can come.
Around Thanksgiving, , GG (that's what my kids will call her) moved to Tahlequah to live with my Uncle James. Last week, I reached out to him to see if it would be okay for me to come and visit with her. Of coarse, he said yes.
Last Friday, Emileigh and I loaded up and headed east to see and meet, GG.
She looks like my mom. She sounds like mom with the way she phrases her words. She was so welcoming and we talked and talked. I had only planned to spend an hour or so... Six hours later, I found myself not wanting to leave. I still have so many questions- some good, some not so good. I want to know why she didn't try harder to be a mom to my mom. Why she didn't break the cycle of emotional and physical abuse that I am so determined to break.
I also want to know how she grew up. What were her parent's and grandparents like? What her favorite color is... you know. Girl questions. :)
Emileigh was such a good girl. I was lucky enough to get some pictures of the two of them together:
Until next time -
Jen
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