My lucky # isn't 28

August 28th isn't my favorite day.  Ever.

If you are tired of hearing about my medical "stuff" then this isn't the blog for you.  However, I need to get this out.  I need to do it for ME.

Last August 28th (2011) I woke up in the early morning hours and couldn't walk.  I couldn't just not walk, I couldn't stand up.  I couldn't get out of the house had there been a fire.  I would have been in big trouble.
That morning is, and always will be, etched so vividly in my mind.  Kevin thought I was making a big deal out of a sore back.  He was supposed to go to work and thought I just wanted him to stay home.  I mean, four hours earlier, Emileigh woke up and I jumped out of bed to tend to her.  When the alarm went off at 07:00 - My life was different.  Maybe forever.

The past year has been so stressful.  To my marriage, to our finances, to relationships within my family.  My mental state has been good and really poor.  It's really hard to depend on people for every aspect in your life.  Two major back surgeries, five steroid injections, many doctor appointments, and more money than I care to admit later... and I could proudly say, we survived such a crazy year.  Barely at times, but we did.

This August promised a turn of events. Although I take more neuronton in one day than most do in 23 days and live on pain medication, the beginning of school and soccer for Blayne and dance class for Emileigh was on the horizon.  We jumped head first into church, I jumped back into friendships that have been idle for over a decade, and finally, Kevin went back to school to get some classes finished for that elusive Nursing degree.

We always take one step forward and land five steps back it seems.

Broken Foot Day 3

Exactly one year later... I broke my foot.

Broken.

Snapped.

Ruined.


To say I'm in a bad place mentally is an understatement.

I have to keep telling myself that bones heal.  I will not need surgery, and this will get better!!
The doctors have said that in 3 to 6 weeks, I'll be walking again.  I'll have to wear a really cute boot for a while when I start to bear weight on it again... but I'll be able to walk.

Until then, I am back to depending on my husband who is stretched so thin he'll be lucky if he isn't at a mental hospital soon.  I'm also blessed to have my grandparents who step in and do way more than needed.  I pretty much get pushed to the side of the road and my kids walk the straight and narrow :)

My neighbor, Gina has been so great with helping us feed, water, and exercise (SPOIL) Bobo... he probably thinks he belongs to her.  She has cooked dinner for us and will again, she "called it" already.

I'm lucky my kiddos are so resilient.  I'm lucky I have family members willing to help more than my needs allow.  I'm lucky that I have a husband who loves me, through sickness and health.  I'm really working on that sickness part lately. ")

Speaking of resilient kiddos and an amazing husband, they had plans to spend Saturday together from before my broken foot episode.  They ending up picnicking and hanging out at the splash pad.

Seriously Bristow, we really, really, really, need a splash pad.

Here are some pictures of their day.  Kevin snapped a few in between bathroom breaks, but that's another story.  Gotta love EmJ.

Today, while Daddy is at work saving lives, Emileigh was able to convince memaw she needed Fwinger Nail Polwish on her toe nwails.  Lucky for her, she is the favorite great-granddaughter and her demands are greatly received :)

FUNNY

** If you are easily offended... do not read this post.  You arent missing much **

So it is 10:50 pm, I am laying on my bed patiently waiting for the Big Brother 12 live feeds to come on. STUPID WEST COASTERS (love ya megs)...

Kevin is playing poker, SURPRISE!!, and is normally very quiet during the process.  I only hear little clicks of the mouse and keystrokes from time to time. 

Then out of the blue, Kevin proclaims, "somebody just told me to 'eat a dick and die'". 


I haven't been able to stop lauging yet.

People get really pissed about their .02 cent poker games online. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

okay, back to big brother. 

BL

Why do I watch the finale of the Biggest Loser and think... i could totally win this... and then continue drinking the dr. pepper in my glass and the ice cream in my bowl?

seriously.

iPhone - 0 Life - 3

Timeline:

April 15 - iPhone went AWOL.  Yes, Absent without leave.  That is huge. 
April 16 - Actually realized phone is missing.  grr
April 17 - Spend the next week without a phone, or with Kevin's... blah blah

April 22 -am: Upgraded my account and brought home new iPhone 3gs
               pm: Brand new pretty phone, fell off kitchen counter and shattered glass.  Yes.

April 23 - Drove to Tulsa, sick as a dog, and spent an obscene amount of cash to replace glass and purchase
                the famed "otter box".  Stupid salesman said it would be water proof.  lair.

May 05 - Blayne decided to see if the phone, that was inside the waterproof otter box, could float. 
                iPhone - 0  Dr. Pepper - 1


Seriously- when does a girl get a break.

Lucky for me- we found the old phone. 

Blayne is definitely his FATHERS CHILD.

Frustrated

I really want to use this blog to spew out a million different thoughts and frustrations. However, that wouldn't only be very inappropriate but I would regret it later, I am sure.  I understand that everyone goes through tough times, frustrating times, aggrivating times.... but today I just want to go outside and SCREAM.  Actually, I don't even have the energy to scream.

Anyone have the winning lottery numbers in the back of your mind?  What about a fee million you could just gift me?  HA. I know.... 

Maybe tomorrow I will feel better and post something sweet and kind about my kids.

Dog update.

The bulldogs next door kept us locked in our house yesterday...  I had a very upset two year old.  Kevin got home from work around 4:45 and stayed outside... waiting on anyone to come home next door.  I definately felt sorry for the poor sap.  Around 7:30, while we were finally outside playing with the bambinos, a white car pulled up.  "BINGO" yelled my husband and proceeded to march across our yard to meet the poor guy. 

I noticed the shirt the guy was wearing... it had an EMS patch on the right sleeve... ugh oh. 

Kevin didn't notice, he kept marching... about 10 feet he turned around and said... "I know this guy!!"

Turns out they work together. 

After a looooong conversation about dogs and kids, the dogs aren't staying next door anymore... They are back at his house.  Turns out, he is dating my neighbor. 

I still stand behind my thoughs about pit bull dogs. 
Kevin says they had a week.


I haven't even started on the post card I received yesterday from the US Census bs.  Seriously...... This is getting old.

bad dogs

We live in the country.  About 10 miles south of Muskogee off of highway 64.  (Those of you who are stalkers, I beg you to try to find me... )  I understand that people choose to live in the country for a number of reasons, most of them are absolutely none of my business.  One reason people choose to live in the country has to do with the fact that a lot of towns are tightening the grip on certain types of dogs. 

If you are an owner of a pit bull dog, please do not allow this to hurt your feelings, this is my opinion.  However, I find that this opinion is fairly and scarily accurate.

It has been my observation that pit bull owners have the dogs for one of two reasons: 1) they fight them or 2) they are trying to hide/protect something. 

Our neighbors have this very cute and innocent miniature Yorkie.   I love it, I would bring it inside and give it a much needed bath and comb it's ratted hair if I thought they wouldn't miss it.  It weighs around 3.5 pounds and is cute as a button.  The day we moved it, it came over to introduce itself. (I am not sure if it is a he or she.) We have played with it since October. 

A couple of months ago, a white pit bull dog showed up and is chained to their front porch.  Hmmmmm  They are never home during the day, just come in at dark and leave before sunrise in the morning.  On the weekends, they stay in their tiny house with the blinds drawn and never venture out.  That's fine with me, I am all introverted as well and feel that is a nice quality to have.... however, the pit chained to the front porch is a little worrisome. 


Fast forward to Sunday.  Two more pit bulls showed up and were chained to various locations around the house.  All centrally located to the front door mind you, but non the less chained.  This was fine until I took my two year old out to play and the neighbors were allowing these dogs to run around the yard.  One of the black ones started toward Blayne barking, which of course scared him to death and he started balling his eyes out.  This momma bear scoops him up, and immediately yells some pretty bad things to the neighbor about god and dogs and leashes.  The guy (who isn't my neighbor... I don't think) quickly apologizes and say's "ma'am, I didn't know kids lived here"   IDIOT.   Do you think my husband and I get off playing on slides and tricycles, and little cars?  Get a life.


So- after that altercation, we now have two pits chained up in front of the house no one is ever at. 

Today the camels back has been broken.

remember, I live in the country.  There are others around me who have barn cats who pretty much roam around.  There is a black one in particular who roams a ton. 

Kevin and I were sitting in the house today during naptime enjoying the peace when all of a sudden we hear what sounds like world war 3 outside the window.  We jump up in enough time to see the big black pit dragging it's chain around and attacking that cat.  The dog killed the cat.... just like that, in front of our window. 

My heart was broken and my blood boiled all at the same time.

sometimes i wish i had a gun...

Just a thought...

I have a gripe. 

I sit and watch the news in the evening and hear the same thing nightly: 1/4 of the country is outraged with the government, a 1/4 is happy-go-lucky, and the rest want to complain about everything.   

I am not one to get in the middle of political battles.  I used to want to be a lobbyist when I was in high school.  That's funny, because I never ran for an office of any kind during those years.  Anyway, I wanted to be in Washington D.C. so badly.  I wanted to be where the action was, to be involved in something greater than myself.

Then I actually thought about it.  There wasn't enough money anyone could pay me to endure the crazyiness that is involved in politics.  Think about it, every single thing you do, from what time you wake up, to what store you shop in, to what your beliefs are on any issue, are debated and scruitinized to the 1,000th degree.

I know that you will never make everyone happy, but to never make anyone happy.... that just wasn't for me.

So, fast forward a few years and I endure the political bull-crap online, on the news, at the store... etc.  People happy about the bailouts, people mad about the bailouts.... blah blah bah 
I say nothing, personally my beliefs are well, mine.  Remember, I keep my mouth shut...

Until I walk out to get the mail last week.  There, in my mailbox, sits a little white envelope stamped with US CENSUS.  Ha, I think.  Better get that dude filled out and back in the mail!  I stick it on the kitchen table for later, you know, when I have time to actually correctly fill it out. 

That night, when both kids were fast asleep, I retreived the official looking letter and sat down to complete the form.  I opened it, and inside... 

A FORM LETTER ADVISING ME THAT IN 5-10 DAYS OUR CENSUS WOULD ARRIVE BY MAIL AND PLEASE FILL IT OUT AND MAIL IT BACK IN THE POSTAGE PAID ENVELOPE.

seriously?

Wonder how much money was spent mailing all of the pre-notification letters.  Bet that money could have been better used to pay down some of that debt everyone is griping about...

Speaking of griping... why am I the only one to be bringing this up? 
 

Frustrated

This will be a complete vent post. I apologize up front- if you aren't in the mood for bitching- move right along.

1. Last Friday, I left work feeling pretty good with a decision and a change. I had spend A LOT of time with the decision I made and spent many hours of MY.OWN.SLEEP.TIME. tossing it over and over in my head. Friday- I was comfortable with the decision, no I was freaking excited. I was stupid excited. All weekend long, I had this anticipation of Monday. seriously- that never happens. I come into work, all gung ho- and nothing. Nothing. At 10:45 I go on a search and uncover the "well, your thing is on hold" WTF? You put my "deal" on hold and don't have the guts to at least ring my extension and tell me? Better yet, You call me all of the time to check the damn weather, and it doesn't cross your mind this might be worth a phone call???? Needless to say, something good better come out of this little "deal" or I will be one pissed off person.

2. We found a house. Just a rental for now, but it is perfect. Move in date August 1st, 3 bedrooms, fenced in yard with a much larger outside area perfect for a garden. Great area- 2 miles from Blayne's daycare... etc. etc. I get the paperwork together today to send and shoot the prospective landlord an email. To which she replies a bunch of bullcrap meant for someone else! Looks like we are one of the final 3 people to be selected. Dude- not sure I can even bear to wait 24 hours. JUST PICK US ALREADY!!! GEEZ.

3. My sister- My heart is breaking for a million reasons. Mainly- because she feels unloved or unappreciated, I am not sure which.
She picked up and jetted off to Texas, that I am not upset that she went to Texas, she is young and single and well, GO! I would love to have had the luxury to pick up and go at a moments notice. I am upset with the way she left, and the comments she gives. I have lost sleep over this- but have decided she is a big girl now. Kaitlynn, I hope you find the happiness you so desperately are looking for. I hope that one day you will truly understand that Family is really all you have and no matter what, they love you. Your family doesn't have to like you 100% of the time, but love is built in. you know the whole, blood is thicker than water?

I feel a little better- will do some work (what, I have no idea...remember I am in limbo) and see if I can't get this day to pass a little quicker.

Stupidity

**Update** We have a meeting tomorrow with a NEW DAYCARE!




Blayne promoted in Daycare on May 11th. he is the youngest- definately not anywhere near the other children, HATES IT, cries when I leave him, comes home starving... etc.

Since May 11th he has been to daycare a total of 4 days.

Day 1- BIG HUGE fiasco regarding epi-pens and how to use them. My kid has been going to the same daycare with the same directors since he was 6 weeks old. He has had food allergies that require knowing how to administer an epi-pen since he was 6 months old. Blayne is 14 months old and you call me to get directions? I know that I sleep a lot, but come on- YOU WERE TRAINED IN OCTOBER!!!!

Day 2- I have to peel a screaming kid off of me and hand him over to a lady who referrs to him as the "allergy kid" umm excuse me his name is Blayne. What is yours because I have NEVER MET YOU BEFORE. Oh and Blayne is fed somthing that might have cheese on it. Cheese is the #1 no no- the item he is most allergic to. The item that sends himi to the hospital in a big ambulance where he gets to spend a very expensive night in the hospital. not fun

Day 3- I have to again peel a screaming kid off of me. i leave in tears, haven't had to do that since day 1 and not ever going to do it again. Aunt Christy picks Blayne up, no one called to let them know she was going to- they just let him go with her. No phone call to mom, nothing! Good thing she called with him in her Jeep on the way home- I would have wasted a trip. BUT that really isn't the point is it? When I pick him up, she explains that they might have let him eat a goldfish with his snack. Uhhh CHEESE PEOPLE!

Day 4 (today) FINAL STRAW. I drop blayne off in a room FULL of big kids. We are talking at least 8 and 1 teacher. The kid in front of Blayne is clinging to his mother- i am calling him a hollar monkey- Blayne is staring. He isn't crying though- so maybe we are crossing a bridge. I put away all of his things, diapers, cups of soy milk, diaper bag, epi-pens and walk out the door. At 9am I get a phone call from daycare explaining that Blayne has been crying for two hours. Uhhh, I say- He hates his new classroom, does he have a fever? Throwing up? Any medical issue? No they say- he is just tugging at his ears. (surprise) Blayne's ears have been draining for a week (allergies) and they itch. Comes with Tubes... instead of inside drainage we deal with outside drainage. Wipe it off and put him in front of a toy. No medical issues, give them my suggestions and say I will call later to check on him. Hang up
Called back to see if they fed him breakfast. I get, Ummm let me go check. (doh)
Comes back to the phone and says yes. I ask what he is doing now, am told that he is headed outside to play. Outside is Blayne's most favorite place to be. I said I would call back and check on him at 11.
11:00 rolls around and I call. I am told now that my kid has a 99.9 degree temp, crying non stop and needs to come home. I call in reinforcements (gram) and head to BA to pick up Blayne-o.
Upon arrival i find my kid strapped in a chair 20 feet from all of the other kids. He looks so sad. My blood pressure and mommy pissed off meter goes off and I try to keep my cool while the two girls who are supposed to be taking care of my kid give me all kinds of excuses why his face looks like he ate dirt cakes for breakfast and his diaper needs changed. All the while he is trying to get out of the freaking geri-chair!

I pick up the daily record without taking another glance and storm out with my kid. heading to the PED's office because accoriding to the dumbasses at daycare he is sick. GRRRR

I finally look down at the paper and notice they fed blayne waffles for breakfast. i call them, simply ask what the ingredients were and told, eggs, milk, and soy. DING DING DING
I wonder why he was fussy?!!!! his tummy hurt you ignorant idioit.

Walk into Dr. Bakers office 15 minutes later ( I LOVE MY PED) and Blayne's temp is 97 and nothing. We are going to work on his ears a little but other than that FINE AS FROG HAIR.

so- do I just go kick their ass or do what????