TeamTaylor

Keepin it Real

I have a lot of people who read my blog, I'm lucky with that. I find this avenue such a great way to vent, explain my thoughts, share my dreams, brag about my wonderful family, and speak exactly the thoughts that are on my mind. Most of the things I put on this blog is for my children. my children You know, those two little TaylorTots I am so very lucky to share with Kevin. This is the way I choose to journal with them, for them to read about our lives when they don't remember. There isn't anyway possible for us to remember everything, so, this is what we have. Our lives, my perspective.

It's sad that I have to write this, it's sad to me, anyway.

I want the world to understand that hurting anyone isn't, nor will ever be, my intention. There are a lot of things that happen in our lives that are not written about. The reason? I'm so terribly afraid to hurt anyone's feelings. I desperately try to please everyone I know. Shocking? Maybe. Especially if you have ever worked with me. ") Life and work life are two completely separate lives to me... at work, I could care less if feelings were hurt. It wasn't intentional, unless it was warranted. I expected the people with whom I worked with, for, and who I was responsible for, to work hard and if I felt that anyone wasn't pulling their share (supervisors included) I always made it known. The problem? I lead with emotion and leave the logic at the door. I will tell you, though... having two little ones teach you to use logic very quickly. However, unfortunately, this isn't about a coworker, it's my family. And let's face it, family and friends are different.

I'm not sure what this is about... I think I've just kept it in for days and really, beside Kevin, I haven't put my feelings into any sort of comprehensible language. This isn't going to make much sense either, however, it feels good to write.

Last week, I was told that I have hurt my dad's feelings with this blog. It wasn't my dad who told me, so that makes me feel a little bit better about the situation, but it still made me question the validity of what I am doing here. Is it worth it?

I have spend hours looking back over past blogs, past facebook updates, past everything. I've looked at things through the eyes of others, though what I think my kids will see later on. Honestly, the things I have written are all 100% honest and true. There aren't any fabrications and I stand by everything I have written. That being said, some of the stories in my life (like every other human in this world) aren't glamorous. Some of them are really hard. Guess what, those are the stories I really want to document, but haven't. Why? because i dont want to hurt anyone.

I guess, at the end of writing this, and explaining what I believe can be explained... I'm good. I'm good with the blog, I hope to continue writing, even the bad stuff. This is MY BLOG, my place to document my perspective, and my place to be creative. Unfortunately, if you read this and are offended, (which may happen) please email me or call me, immediately. Do not wait days... do not make it about YOU, do not talk over me, and do NOT tell me that I am selfish. Because, I am NOT. I have two sweet little people who will tell you in 20 very short years, that their mother loves them with more than she has, and that YOU are the one who missed out.

To everyone else... Please, continue to text, twitter, facebook, and COMMENT. It makes a girls confidence in this journey much stronger.

Love to you ALL. (even you who find me via pinterest... just keepin it real)

Vacation: Day 4

Dude... it's impossible to keep up with a blog while you are here. I'm sorry... there are TONS of pictures I'm going to share, and maybe a few stories to go with them... I just couldn't take the time from the fun to sit behind a computer. I hope you'll understand. It just means that vacation is a few days longer, right?

Day 4 of our Vacation was Sunday, April 15th. It was our first full day on Okaloosa Island. We spent the entire morning on the beach, took a late nap, and then went to check out the fishing pier.

Once we were all awake and had enough sunscreen applied to last two weeks, we headed out to the beach. I'm not exactly sure what I expected when I stepped into the ocean, but I can tell you know what I didn't expect.
1. I didn't expect the red flags. (that means the ocean is a bit more dangerous than normal. high winds, but surf, etc.)

2. I didn't expect the sand to be so dang hard to walk in! Seriously, I grew up watching baywatch and those suckers ran fast in that crap. Really?!!
3. I didn't expect the waves to try and drown me :)

4. I also didn't realize that the sand would wash away right under my feet.

After we got our bearings, and understood the mighty ocean... we haven't looked back.

OHHHH - - Something else I didn't know... every morning a very good looking boy (we'll call him boy because then I won't feel guilty winking at him) comes down the beach and sets up the chairs and umbrellas. Yes, you have to pay to rent them, but come on... it's free to watch the show. And watch the show, I did. I even took some pictures, you know... to document our trip.

After swimming and before napping, we had lunch at pepitos. It was really good mexican eats (sorry no pics) Thanks UrbanSpoon!!

The fishing pier was an experience that I wasn't expecting.

Being from Oklahoma, I thought I'd just walk out on a pier and walk back. I didn't expect all of the people. I also didn't expect the sick feeling I had when looking back to the shoreline.

Everyone loved the fishing pier. Everyone excpet Blayne and myself. After getting the crap beat out of me that morning, I was very respectful of the waves. I kept thinking, what's going to happen when this stupid pier breaks and all 400 people fall into the water?? How am I going to save my kids, my camera, get to the shore, and not get stuck by a gazillion fish hooks?? Yes. stuff like this goes through my head ALL of the time. I'm crazy like that.

The pier is HUGE. It doesn't look so big from two miles away, but when you get to it... it's pretty big. When you get on it, you go past the guy selling fishing stuff, then you get to the pier. Folks are really, fishing. I'm that guy who thought all of the people would be walking hand in hand enjoying the view. NOPE. There is some serious fishing happening there.

I took some pictures of one dude who caught a catfish. There were a lot of peeps catching fish, but once someone brought it out of the water and onto the deck... Blayne would lose his shit (sorry grandma).

We sat on a bench and watch a lady catching little bait fish. While on that bench, Kevo lost his hat...

And I got to take a picture with the two most important people in the UNIVERSE.

The pelicans stood watch... very closely. Any dropped bait were quickly swooped up. All of those Bristow peeps will remember this... "Strange bird that pelican... it's beak can hold more than it's bellican!" (sorry, had to go there...)

On the parking lot side, there was a super cute little boat that we got some pictures of the kiddos. (and a very pregnant Tiffany) :)

For dinner that night- we went to a little pizza place that doubled as a...wait for it...brew pub. While I could give two hoots about beer, my sweet husband thought it was pretty nifty :) The pizza was pretty good, actually. If I hadn't had some from Crust Pizzeria later, it would have been the been best pizza tasted. Insetead, it's definitely top 3 :)

After a late dinner, we made it back to the condo to catch some much wanted zzz's

**Blogging this a week late is a bit funny, right? Sorry!!**

Thursday Update

I wish I could apologize for not keeping up with the updates, but really, when bedtime finally comes, I'm one sleepy momma!!!

We have been getting up at the crack of dawn (well, okay... sometimes 8:30-9:30 feels like the crack of dawn) and going until 10:30pm or later. Days are spent beside a large body of water on a beach so white, it makes ME look tan.

Speaking of that sparkling beautiful sand, it gets everywhere. I'm not sure exactly what I expected, I guess I thought if I took my hefty camera bag, and was super careful, sand wouldn't intrude. WRONG. That crap is everywhere.

I wouldn't change a thing.

I'm sitting on the balcony as I type. Attempting to edit four days worth of pictures. We'll see how far I get. I promise to get some online today. Thanks for all of the emails, tweets, text messages, etc. It feels really good to know that there are actual people, who I know, following :)

Please, let Thursday have 72 hours in it....

Vacation: Day 3

"I've got my toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold drink in my hand.. life is good today.... life is good today."

That is exactly how I wanted this post to be about. Yesterday, we finally made it to our destination, Destin, Florida. Actually, we are in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. We are ON THE BEACH. We walk out of our condo, past the pool, down three steps, and there is the beach. I can not begin to tell you how calming it is here. I have waited 32 years to see the ocean. It was worth the wait.

As I said before- I really wanted this post to be super upbeat, and I'll get to that. However, Oklahoma was hit very hard yesterday and the day before with massive tornadoes. Not only Oklahoma, Kansas was hit as well. In fact, my cousin's farm was demolished. Gone. Everyone is okay... and at the end of the day, that is what is important, right?

So- before I continue, I want to ask you to pray, send good thoughts, say a rosary, whatever you do, just do it for the Stephens family. The universe, God, whatever will hear and help them. Thanks.

Now- to the pictures and commentary - hooray!

Emileigh says, "good morning blog readers!" She was especially blue-eyed this morning.

You know, we were just sitting around, drinking our sprite...

playing angry birds on mom's cell phone...

"gotcha pig!"

I'm not sure what emileigh plays. Mostly she moves the icons around, deletes apps, sends random text messages, you know. Girl Stuff :)

Blayne has to keep his eyes on his little sister. She can't beat him, you know.

THEN... daddy get's an idea...

The ole Lemon Trick.

Emileigh isn't going to be left out! Poor girl...

(best picture ever)

After a drink to wash it all down... we headed to a cemetery to check things out.

There isn't much I know to say, except it was beautiful. Beautiful if you like this kind of stuff, which, I do. I think a cemetery is the most peaceful place on earth. No pun intended... I actually enjoy them.

This is a picture of the mausoleum. I didn't know until a girlfriend suggested visiting, but everyone is buried above ground in New Orleans due to the NoLa being under the water table. Makes sense, Right?

Something else I wasn't expecting, multiple people in the same tomb. I'm sure they are all from the same family... but still. Some have A LOT. History, people. History is cool.